Scene: Local playground, lovely weather. Children playing in the sandbox.
Players: Several children, some parents, a grandmother, and Voice of Society Man, disguised as me
Grandmother (voice an octave higher than usual): Charlotte want snacky? Snacky? Juice juice?
Charlotte stares up blankly.
Voice of Society Man (to Grandmother): Engwish first wanguage?
Grandmother stares up blankly.
Voice of Society Man: You want Charlotte grow up speak nice nice? You under impression children not process language unless speak to them like Tarzan?
Really, folks. The literature's been available for years, decades maybe. Children learn grammar and vocabulary despite your attempts to speak to them like an idiot. Plus it drives me crazy, and I'm not the only one -- just the one who's not afraid to speak up about it.
Sowwy for intwuding on your day. Cawwy on.
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